so, i know some of you, most of you will be dismayed to know that i fb emailed the boy. i DID feel better after doing it though, so that was good. i wasn't stewing over it anymore.
then i got a friend request him. no response, just a friend request, and i was like wtf?
then i got the response, and holy crap was it a response. the exchange is copied below. and the details have been confirmed by an external source.
from me:
so in the three weeks since we first hung out there's been nary a phone call or a plan to go out again (aside from the one initiated by me). honestly, it's fine that you're not interested, but when you seem as though you are, in person, it gets confusing and leads to hurt feelings and all that jazz.
i still think you're a great person and all that, but i wish you would have been straight up or just kept it platonic or whatever. that would have been okay.
anyway, i'm not one for holding things like this in, so i just needed
to say that.
from him:
I'm very sorry, I've been a bit screwed up for the past couple of weeks. My best friend back home died last week, on the morning of my birthday. He has battled cancer for the past 2 years, and when it seemed like he was in the clear, what began as a mild skin cancer, came back again this year, and had spread to his brain and lungs. His father is a brain surgeon, and was doing everything imaginable to help him, and we were all certain he'd get better. However, he got very very sick about three weeks ago, and was hospitalized, and on the morning of my birthday, right as I was getting ready for a day of fun and celebrating, I got the call that he passed away. It came as a huge shock. Even though he was sick, he rarely let us know how bad it was. He was extremely private about his illness, and barely even let his best friends come see him, as he was embarrassed how he looked, frail with a bald head and many many scars from surgeries. Another one of our good friends is getting married next weekend in Chicago, and I was going to be in St. Louis along with some of the other guys for a few days, and we had all planned to go see him and cheer him up, but now that will never happen. I've never lost anyone close to me, so I'm not very good at dealing with this. I have so much to say to him, but I'll never be able to. Instead of seeing his always smiling face when I go home next week, I'll be attending his memorial.
I've barely slept at all this week and I cry whenever I think about him. He was such an incredible guy, and such a good friend, that this all seems so surreal. So, I'm sorry I've been out of touch, but this is just a really screwed up time for me. I really like you, and have a had a lot of fun hanging out, but I'm just not thinking straight lately, and I don't want to project all my sorrow onto someone else, especially someone I'm trying to seem cool in front of! My brother and parents have been helping me deal with this, they were close to John
as well, as he's been like a brother to me since we met in first grade. The past couple of days have been getting better, but I'm still a wreck. Again, I'm sorry, but this is a bit of a selfish time for me. I feel like a jerk for not calling you. I didn't know how to tell you all this over the phone. I understand if you're angry or frustrated with me, I would be, too. It's not like me to be such a jerk, so please don't think this is how I am....I'm just trying to get my head straight.
from me:
i am so, so, so, so, sorry. truly. deeply. and i feel like a snatch for sending that email and adding to what you have going on. i'm sorry. really i am. though i have never lost a friend, i can imagine that you are going something unbelievably difficult and that you just need to do whatever brings you the most comfort right now.
so i understand. and i appreciate you explaining it to me. if there is anything i can do to help you (including making jello jigglers), please let me know. and when you are feeling a little better, if you want to hang out, let me know that too.
again, i'm sorry. i'll be thinking of you.
***so that's that. i felt bad for even wondering if this was all true. trust issues? anyway, his friend did in fact pass away, and i do in fact feel so very bad. but at least now i know, and i can stop thinking bad things about him.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
letter to the editor (continued from earlier)
from manlessdogless:
1. i never friended him on fb because i didn't want to have to unfriend him if some shit like this happened. i also never saved his number in my phone for the same reason. this is how i am with guys now. sad but true. i don't "save" them anywhere b/c i feel, unfortunately, that they are bound to disappear.
2. i don't think he's a bad person. at all. in fact, i think he's a good person (generally speaking). so what do i say? seriously. what would i say? how dare you act like you like me and have fun with me and make me laugh and then not call? i sound crazy...
3. how the fuck did you know he was a weed head? for real. how did you know that?! i'm pretty sure he smokes everyday.
dear md:
1)fine. i hate that this is your defense mechanism now. you are so wonderful... i have no idea why you have such sour luck. you are the real deal.
2)he may not be a BAD person... but hes careless with himself and his actions. he needs to understand YOUR perception of the situation and how let down you were. based on your expectations from HIS behavior.
3) i thought he was a stoner partially b/c you called him dopey... and also because he doesn't sound like a horrible dick (b/c he would have tried to fuck you when you spent the night)... AND that would be a reasonable explanation for why hes so completely god damn clueless. no excuse though. seriously, i smoke pot NEARLY everyday and i'm not a fucking clueless moron.
you don't spend time with people like that if you're not romantically interested...
and if you do... you need to be CLEAR that s not what you're thinking and understand
that circumstances like that (staying up all night talking, watching fire works under a blanket, spending the night)... that intimacy...can lead people to have those romantic feelings.
god. hes such a doofus.
your note doesn't have to be scathing or unkind... but can be firm and just let some things out. ..
and who cares if he thinks your crazy? hes on another planet.
let him take the fall for all your tears and strife.
1. i never friended him on fb because i didn't want to have to unfriend him if some shit like this happened. i also never saved his number in my phone for the same reason. this is how i am with guys now. sad but true. i don't "save" them anywhere b/c i feel, unfortunately, that they are bound to disappear.
2. i don't think he's a bad person. at all. in fact, i think he's a good person (generally speaking). so what do i say? seriously. what would i say? how dare you act like you like me and have fun with me and make me laugh and then not call? i sound crazy...
3. how the fuck did you know he was a weed head? for real. how did you know that?! i'm pretty sure he smokes everyday.
dear md:
1)fine. i hate that this is your defense mechanism now. you are so wonderful... i have no idea why you have such sour luck. you are the real deal.
2)he may not be a BAD person... but hes careless with himself and his actions. he needs to understand YOUR perception of the situation and how let down you were. based on your expectations from HIS behavior.
3) i thought he was a stoner partially b/c you called him dopey... and also because he doesn't sound like a horrible dick (b/c he would have tried to fuck you when you spent the night)... AND that would be a reasonable explanation for why hes so completely god damn clueless. no excuse though. seriously, i smoke pot NEARLY everyday and i'm not a fucking clueless moron.
you don't spend time with people like that if you're not romantically interested...
and if you do... you need to be CLEAR that s not what you're thinking and understand
that circumstances like that (staying up all night talking, watching fire works under a blanket, spending the night)... that intimacy...can lead people to have those romantic feelings.
god. hes such a doofus.
your note doesn't have to be scathing or unkind... but can be firm and just let some things out. ..
and who cares if he thinks your crazy? hes on another planet.
let him take the fall for all your tears and strife.
letter to the editor
dear md:
have you heard from whats his name? why don't you email him lettng him know the error of his ways... kindly but firmly. it may help you feel better AND let him in on a little secret. ... that hes one big ole stoop thoughtless asshole.
from manlessdogless:
thought about it. then i realized that it wouldn't do any good. and i would seem foolish. plus, i don't have his email so i'd have to facebook email him, and that's lame.
dear md:
do it. fuck him. fb message that mother fucker.
it doesn't matter if it does any good.
give him an ear full.
someone has to let him have it so he MAY potentially understand one day.
don't make it personal to you per se... just highlight his issues as a person...
and how he relates to others and how he just can't do what he did...
or at the very least that it just isn't right.
is he a stoner? it sounds like it.
have you heard from whats his name? why don't you email him lettng him know the error of his ways... kindly but firmly. it may help you feel better AND let him in on a little secret. ... that hes one big ole stoop thoughtless asshole.
from manlessdogless:
thought about it. then i realized that it wouldn't do any good. and i would seem foolish. plus, i don't have his email so i'd have to facebook email him, and that's lame.
dear md:
do it. fuck him. fb message that mother fucker.
it doesn't matter if it does any good.
give him an ear full.
someone has to let him have it so he MAY potentially understand one day.
don't make it personal to you per se... just highlight his issues as a person...
and how he relates to others and how he just can't do what he did...
or at the very least that it just isn't right.
is he a stoner? it sounds like it.
Monday, July 20, 2009
closed
so i've been negligent, but only because i wanted to see how this story was going to pan out before i went yapping about it. so here it goes. it all started on the 2nd of July. my friend had a pre-holiday party, and i went. i meant to only stay for an hour or so and then head to this new dance class i'd started, but as fate would have it, there was a boy, and he was cute, and smart, and funny, and he seemed to like ME. holy shit. j-j-j-jackpot! so my one hour turned into 7 hours, and i spent most of the time talking to him or playing with him or against him in some game. toward the end, he asked me what i was doing for the 4th, i said nothing, and he invited me to go with him and his friends (and my friend) to the beach. splendid. fast forward to the end of the night: he walked me to my car, got my number and away i went. when i got home, i realized i had a text from him that said it was great to meet me and he would talk to me soon. yipee skipee!
moving on to the 4th of July. a group of us biked from his house, down to the beach then down the coast, stopping at their friends' beach parties. in all, it was about a 17 mile trip. exhausting but fun. we talked more that day and biked together at times. i played a little football with him at the beach, then ended up throwing the ball around with these other random guys who commented on what a nice spiral i had. he heard it (read: he was totally attracted to me at this point). pause--i feel like, i should give him a name. let's call him dopey--not just because he smokes a lot but because his actions are dopey, as you will see momentarily.
so at about mile 16 my crotch starts to hurt, and he mentioned that his bottom hurt. we decided that instead of biking to the last party, we would detour to his house and get the car, which we did. well, we did the first part. but we never made it to the party because we ended up sitting on his balcony and watching the fireworks while wrapped up in a blanket (ridiculously romantic) and talking...and talking...and talking.... we talked from 8 p.m. to 3 a.m. about the most random things. and he made me laugh. and he made me a turkey burger. and he didn't try anything. he was respectfully affectionate, but he didn't even try to kiss me...until we were in his bed. fully pajama clothed i will say. and even then, the kiss was very pg-13. then we go to sleep.
we wake up the next morning and TALK SOME MORE. no funny business. we lie around for a couple of hours, he offers to take me to my car, but my friend shows up, and i ride with her instead. he walks me to her car, we hug, and then he says, "i'll be in touch." for the first time, in all the hours i've been around him, i'm like "wtf?" "i'll be in touch" sounds like what the head of HR says after an interview when you probably didn't get the job. needless to say, i felt weird about it, but i tried not to let it put a damper on an otherwise delightful weekend.
Monday.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
by wednesday, i was already convinced that he didn't like me, and that it was going to be another one of those "thank you God for getting my hopes up only to watch me crash and burn. i totally needed that" things. by thursday, i think i was delirious because i don't remember how i felt. i do remember talking to two friends who suggested that i text/call him respectively. based on his response, you will know if it's a yay or nay, they said. and if it's a nay, at least you will know and you can stop torturing yourself. true. and though making the first move goes against my southern principles, i decided to be a 90s woman and call him.
and he actually picked up the phone. and we actually had a decent, though brief, conversation. he was on his way somewhere, but he did ask me what i was doing that weekend and i asked him what he was doing and blah blah he said let's talk tomorrow (friday) and figure something out. sigh of relief. okay, that wasn't so bad. being a 90s woman does have its perks.
Friday.
he called at 9:24 p.m. just late enough for me to consider (and re-consider) that he probably wasn't going to call. but he did, and i felt good b/c it seemed like he might actually be a fellow who sticks to his word. novel idea. we made plans for sunday.
Sunday (july 12...just for reference).
i got over to his house around 2. we hung out on the balcony again and yes, talked some more. then we went to see a movie, came back, hung out more. he cooked dinner, we played thumb war and watched a baseball game on tv. he made smoothies. we kept it PG. i left around 12:30. again, he walked me to my car, and this time he said "later." i can't decide if that was better or worse than "i'll be in touch."
Monday.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
here we go again. except this time, i had no urge to call. i was just going to see what he did. except i didn't do that. i texted him on thursday because i found out the place he and his roommate were staying in sold, and they had to be out in 30 days. we chatted about 640 characters worth about that, and then i was SERIOUSLY done.
Saturday.
saturday was his birthday. 29th. now once upon a time, when we were lying in bed, he mentioned that he was going to have a party with his friend and that i should come. fast forward to a week later, he said they weren't going to have the party instead they were just going to get a group together and go out, probably to hollywood. so when saturday rolled around and i hadn't heard a peep out of him, i knew i wouldn't be popping out of a makeshift cake with my "happy birthday, cutie" t-shirt on as i'd planned. in fact, i wasn't even sure i would wish him a happy birthday at all. the part of me that had resolved that this was in fact one of those "thanks, God. i'll add this to my douchebag collection" scenarios was like, "screw him. i'm not wishing him a happy birthday. he can bite me!" but the part of me that is a good person retorted, "now, now. that isn't very nice. you can at least say happy birthday since you have spoken about it. and THEN be done with him." as my friend and i were driving that afternoon to pasadena, i asked her what i should do, being that she knew him and had witnessed this debacle from day one (it was at her house that i met him). she said i should text him. which i did. "happy birthday," i said. his response was...
i'll fill that line in, if and when i get a response. ssss...burn. on myself.
Sunday.
yesterday. i'm with this same friend having dinner. i learned that after we had parted ways on Saturday, she and her "new boo" went out and had dinner in honor of dopey's birthday and the other boy's birthday. as we were eating, she said, "oh yeah, dopey asked me where you on Saturday." "what do you mean he asked you where i was?" "he asked me where you were when we were at dinner, and i told him that i'd seen you earlier that day and then i dropped you off." ugh. what do you mean where am i? obviously i'm not where YOU are because you didn't invite me. remember? and if you wanted to see me, maybe you should have called, or texted or sent a fucking carrier pigeon for crying out loud. but obviously, you did not. my friend said that she doesn't think he's a mean-spirited person (i agree) nor does she think he does (not do) the things he does (not do) to be a dick. she thinks he's just....dopey.
whatever the case may be, i've had enough. at first, i'd simply decided that i would totally keep my mouth shut when i meet someone who's a potential (which is sort of what i've been doing anyway). no sense in talking about it when it could very well result in nothing and then you're left explaining to people what happened and why another one bit it. then i decided that i just have to be more positive because clearly my "negativity" is breeding attraction to numbnuts. but it's hard to be really positive when the things you tell yourself you shouldn't think kept being reinforced. you follow? so, ultimately, i've decided that i'm retiring. i'm out the game. i'm hanging up the heavyweight chastity belt. no more boys. no more flirting. no more waiting for phone calls. no more initiating. no more excuses. no more wishful thinking. no more disappointment. i am physically incapable of handling anymore. so i'm done. i'll BE the old cat lady. i don't care.
after dealing with this nonsense and spending all day Saturday and Sunday with three girlfriends, separately, who are in lovely, happy relationships (all of whom i am sincerely happy for), it was just a bit much. too much. and it's not that i don't believe in love and romance and all that stuff b/c i've seen it with my own eyes, and i know people who live it and breathe it, but i, personally, don't feel like sticking my foot in the water anymore. that in itself makes me somewhat sad, but it is what it is, n'est-ce pas? and if i'm going to try to make something of myself career-wise, i can't be mending my heart every five minutes.
and that's the new me, L.A.
moving on to the 4th of July. a group of us biked from his house, down to the beach then down the coast, stopping at their friends' beach parties. in all, it was about a 17 mile trip. exhausting but fun. we talked more that day and biked together at times. i played a little football with him at the beach, then ended up throwing the ball around with these other random guys who commented on what a nice spiral i had. he heard it (read: he was totally attracted to me at this point). pause--i feel like, i should give him a name. let's call him dopey--not just because he smokes a lot but because his actions are dopey, as you will see momentarily.
so at about mile 16 my crotch starts to hurt, and he mentioned that his bottom hurt. we decided that instead of biking to the last party, we would detour to his house and get the car, which we did. well, we did the first part. but we never made it to the party because we ended up sitting on his balcony and watching the fireworks while wrapped up in a blanket (ridiculously romantic) and talking...and talking...and talking.... we talked from 8 p.m. to 3 a.m. about the most random things. and he made me laugh. and he made me a turkey burger. and he didn't try anything. he was respectfully affectionate, but he didn't even try to kiss me...until we were in his bed. fully pajama clothed i will say. and even then, the kiss was very pg-13. then we go to sleep.
we wake up the next morning and TALK SOME MORE. no funny business. we lie around for a couple of hours, he offers to take me to my car, but my friend shows up, and i ride with her instead. he walks me to her car, we hug, and then he says, "i'll be in touch." for the first time, in all the hours i've been around him, i'm like "wtf?" "i'll be in touch" sounds like what the head of HR says after an interview when you probably didn't get the job. needless to say, i felt weird about it, but i tried not to let it put a damper on an otherwise delightful weekend.
Monday.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
by wednesday, i was already convinced that he didn't like me, and that it was going to be another one of those "thank you God for getting my hopes up only to watch me crash and burn. i totally needed that" things. by thursday, i think i was delirious because i don't remember how i felt. i do remember talking to two friends who suggested that i text/call him respectively. based on his response, you will know if it's a yay or nay, they said. and if it's a nay, at least you will know and you can stop torturing yourself. true. and though making the first move goes against my southern principles, i decided to be a 90s woman and call him.
and he actually picked up the phone. and we actually had a decent, though brief, conversation. he was on his way somewhere, but he did ask me what i was doing that weekend and i asked him what he was doing and blah blah he said let's talk tomorrow (friday) and figure something out. sigh of relief. okay, that wasn't so bad. being a 90s woman does have its perks.
Friday.
he called at 9:24 p.m. just late enough for me to consider (and re-consider) that he probably wasn't going to call. but he did, and i felt good b/c it seemed like he might actually be a fellow who sticks to his word. novel idea. we made plans for sunday.
Sunday (july 12...just for reference).
i got over to his house around 2. we hung out on the balcony again and yes, talked some more. then we went to see a movie, came back, hung out more. he cooked dinner, we played thumb war and watched a baseball game on tv. he made smoothies. we kept it PG. i left around 12:30. again, he walked me to my car, and this time he said "later." i can't decide if that was better or worse than "i'll be in touch."
Monday.
Tuesday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
here we go again. except this time, i had no urge to call. i was just going to see what he did. except i didn't do that. i texted him on thursday because i found out the place he and his roommate were staying in sold, and they had to be out in 30 days. we chatted about 640 characters worth about that, and then i was SERIOUSLY done.
Saturday.
saturday was his birthday. 29th. now once upon a time, when we were lying in bed, he mentioned that he was going to have a party with his friend and that i should come. fast forward to a week later, he said they weren't going to have the party instead they were just going to get a group together and go out, probably to hollywood. so when saturday rolled around and i hadn't heard a peep out of him, i knew i wouldn't be popping out of a makeshift cake with my "happy birthday, cutie" t-shirt on as i'd planned. in fact, i wasn't even sure i would wish him a happy birthday at all. the part of me that had resolved that this was in fact one of those "thanks, God. i'll add this to my douchebag collection" scenarios was like, "screw him. i'm not wishing him a happy birthday. he can bite me!" but the part of me that is a good person retorted, "now, now. that isn't very nice. you can at least say happy birthday since you have spoken about it. and THEN be done with him." as my friend and i were driving that afternoon to pasadena, i asked her what i should do, being that she knew him and had witnessed this debacle from day one (it was at her house that i met him). she said i should text him. which i did. "happy birthday," i said. his response was...
i'll fill that line in, if and when i get a response. ssss...burn. on myself.
Sunday.
yesterday. i'm with this same friend having dinner. i learned that after we had parted ways on Saturday, she and her "new boo" went out and had dinner in honor of dopey's birthday and the other boy's birthday. as we were eating, she said, "oh yeah, dopey asked me where you on Saturday." "what do you mean he asked you where i was?" "he asked me where you were when we were at dinner, and i told him that i'd seen you earlier that day and then i dropped you off." ugh. what do you mean where am i? obviously i'm not where YOU are because you didn't invite me. remember? and if you wanted to see me, maybe you should have called, or texted or sent a fucking carrier pigeon for crying out loud. but obviously, you did not. my friend said that she doesn't think he's a mean-spirited person (i agree) nor does she think he does (not do) the things he does (not do) to be a dick. she thinks he's just....dopey.
whatever the case may be, i've had enough. at first, i'd simply decided that i would totally keep my mouth shut when i meet someone who's a potential (which is sort of what i've been doing anyway). no sense in talking about it when it could very well result in nothing and then you're left explaining to people what happened and why another one bit it. then i decided that i just have to be more positive because clearly my "negativity" is breeding attraction to numbnuts. but it's hard to be really positive when the things you tell yourself you shouldn't think kept being reinforced. you follow? so, ultimately, i've decided that i'm retiring. i'm out the game. i'm hanging up the heavyweight chastity belt. no more boys. no more flirting. no more waiting for phone calls. no more initiating. no more excuses. no more wishful thinking. no more disappointment. i am physically incapable of handling anymore. so i'm done. i'll BE the old cat lady. i don't care.
after dealing with this nonsense and spending all day Saturday and Sunday with three girlfriends, separately, who are in lovely, happy relationships (all of whom i am sincerely happy for), it was just a bit much. too much. and it's not that i don't believe in love and romance and all that stuff b/c i've seen it with my own eyes, and i know people who live it and breathe it, but i, personally, don't feel like sticking my foot in the water anymore. that in itself makes me somewhat sad, but it is what it is, n'est-ce pas? and if i'm going to try to make something of myself career-wise, i can't be mending my heart every five minutes.
and that's the new me, L.A.
Friday, July 10, 2009
3 days, fool?
i just learned about this 3 day rule business where a guy is supposed to wait three days to call a girl. by waiting exactly three days, that's supposed to be long enough to intrigue her and make him not seem desperate. one day = desperate! two days = still kinda desperate! three days = omg eligible bachelor who made time for me! bullshit. 72 hours is a long freaking time, and personally, i'm more flattered by a guy who calls sooner rather than later. put it like this, you waiting three days isn't going to make me want you more; it's just going to piss me off. if i don't want you when you call on day 1 or day 2, then i'm not going to want you when you call on day 3 or 20. but that's just how i feel. i didn't know people actually adhere to such rules. does this make sense? does this actually add value and benefit to the relationship? do women do this too or just men? in honor of this conundrum, i have a new poll. i also welcome comments.
i can barely wait 3 hours for anything let alone 3 days, L.A.
i can barely wait 3 hours for anything let alone 3 days, L.A.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
if at first you don't succeed
him (2:10 p.m.): What's ur link 4 findin u on facebook
i guess if after 6 hours, i'm not giving in, you might as well take what you can get, n'est-ce pas?
me (2:36 p.m.): link? My page is under my name.
him (2:53 p.m.): there are like 5 of u..
well, i'm pretty sure the photos will help you narrow it down, considering all the other girls are white!!!
him (3:04 p.m.): Which is u?
me (3:05 p.m.): i'm the brown one.
seriously. wtf?!!? first of all, i welcome distractions at work, but you are annoying the shit out of me. secondly, you saw me! wtf do you mean, which one is me? the one that looks like me!
him (3:08 p.m): I didn't even c a pic of u...that was the problem!
are you fucking yelling at me? don't get mad at me because you don't now how to work the goddamn facebook.
me (3:11 p.m.): Yeah, i don't know what to tell you.
him (3:11 p.m.): Ok. I'll try it again l8r..kisses
gag me.
i guess if after 6 hours, i'm not giving in, you might as well take what you can get, n'est-ce pas?
me (2:36 p.m.): link? My page is under my name.
him (2:53 p.m.): there are like 5 of u..
well, i'm pretty sure the photos will help you narrow it down, considering all the other girls are white!!!
him (3:04 p.m.): Which is u?
me (3:05 p.m.): i'm the brown one.
seriously. wtf?!!? first of all, i welcome distractions at work, but you are annoying the shit out of me. secondly, you saw me! wtf do you mean, which one is me? the one that looks like me!
him (3:08 p.m): I didn't even c a pic of u...that was the problem!
are you fucking yelling at me? don't get mad at me because you don't now how to work the goddamn facebook.
me (3:11 p.m.): Yeah, i don't know what to tell you.
him (3:11 p.m.): Ok. I'll try it again l8r..kisses
gag me.
morning text
so i met this guy when i was home last month. he's the cousin of a friend i've known since second grade. that heifer swore up and down that the three of us were just going to lunch; it was not a hookup. lies! it was totally a hookup. except the parts didn't match at all. it was like trying to put an american plug into a european outlet. at least that's what it was like for me. apparently, for him it was more like solving a rubix cube. he did buy me drinks when we moved on to the bars, which was nice, except that i don't really drink that much. and i will say that he is a nice, intelligent individual. HOWEVER. 1) let's not talk about oral sex at lunch the first day that we meet. 2) i know that i can be amusing sometimes, but there's no need for you to double over with laughter and conveniently bury YOUR head in MY lap 3) if there's a hair in my face, just tell me. i'll get it. but thank you for trying and almost poking my eye out. 4) you have no reason to touch my inner thigh. you haven't left anything in that region. also, just as a side note, if you're going to push a $60/70,000 vehicle, let's make sure we take the carmax sticker off the back. i'm just saying. and not because i give a shit about cars (obviously this didn't make me want him anymore). i've dated guys with no cars, shitty cars and ones who lived in their cars, so that makes no difference to me, but if one is going to floss, one should keep their shit tight. aiight?
anyway, this all happened the day before i left to come back to LA, and he's been sporadically text messaging ever since. most of his texts, actually all of them, have been along the lines of "hey!! how are you?!?" and really, there are only so many ways to say "fine" and "good", and even if i was interested, this is absolutely no way to sustain a 1200+ miles relationship.
so at 7:40 this morning, i get another "hey u!! how are you?!?" text. this is way too early for casual texting. i responded a little less than an hour later.
me (8:28 a.m.): Good. Thanks. You?
though i may not be interested, as hopefully demonstrated by my lame response, i'm also not rude, so i HAD to ask how he was doing in return.
him (8:29 a.m.): I'm good. Thanks. U were on my mind this a.m. What's been up?
here i paused b/c i find it baffling when people ask you questions over text message that hint at elaborate responses. how much detail am i really going to go into in 160 characters? i can't not respond, and i can't say "nothing" because i don't want to sound like i need someone to bring excitement to my life. and i'm annoyed that i have to actually think about this...
me (8:40 a.m.): Taking over the world. The usual.
him (8:42 a.m.): Lol...thats wsup! I wanna c u..
dun, dun, duuuuuun. and here it is. the text of doom. the one i was really hoping would never see the light of day. but here it is. he wants to see me. he wants to see me! wtf am i supposed to say to that? i'll tell you what i say to that.
me (8:48 a.m.): Well, I'm on facebook.
him (8:50 a.m.): Physically see u..
what's with the 2 periods after everything? it's either one or three. two periods means nothing. if your period button is stuck, get it fixed.
before i had to come up with some other subtlely smartass remark, he continued.
him (8:51 a.m.): Ure still not back b4 xmas?
me (8:51 a.m.): Correct.
my quickest response yet. now please don't suggest coming out here, please don't, please don't, please don't...
him (8:52 a.m.): K..was just tellin u that..not that u could do anything abt it..lol
again with the 2 periods! but that was overshadowed by my relief.
10 minutes of celebratory silence. then...
him (9:02 a.m.): Keep killin 'em talk with u soon..
and that was the end of that. for now. so, i'm wondering, is the plan to keep texting me until xmas and then hangout and fall head over heels? and does that work? i guess if i liked him, i'd be totally into it. i guess if i liked him i would have taken the bait and suggested he come out for a visit. but i don't. alas. and the sad part is that his area code is similar to the area code of a guy i actually do want to talk to, so for half a second, i i actually was excited. sigh (insert three periods)
i HAVE blocked text messaging on my phone before and i can do it again, L.A.
anyway, this all happened the day before i left to come back to LA, and he's been sporadically text messaging ever since. most of his texts, actually all of them, have been along the lines of "hey!! how are you?!?" and really, there are only so many ways to say "fine" and "good", and even if i was interested, this is absolutely no way to sustain a 1200+ miles relationship.
so at 7:40 this morning, i get another "hey u!! how are you?!?" text. this is way too early for casual texting. i responded a little less than an hour later.
me (8:28 a.m.): Good. Thanks. You?
though i may not be interested, as hopefully demonstrated by my lame response, i'm also not rude, so i HAD to ask how he was doing in return.
him (8:29 a.m.): I'm good. Thanks. U were on my mind this a.m. What's been up?
here i paused b/c i find it baffling when people ask you questions over text message that hint at elaborate responses. how much detail am i really going to go into in 160 characters? i can't not respond, and i can't say "nothing" because i don't want to sound like i need someone to bring excitement to my life. and i'm annoyed that i have to actually think about this...
me (8:40 a.m.): Taking over the world. The usual.
him (8:42 a.m.): Lol...thats wsup! I wanna c u..
dun, dun, duuuuuun. and here it is. the text of doom. the one i was really hoping would never see the light of day. but here it is. he wants to see me. he wants to see me! wtf am i supposed to say to that? i'll tell you what i say to that.
me (8:48 a.m.): Well, I'm on facebook.
him (8:50 a.m.): Physically see u..
what's with the 2 periods after everything? it's either one or three. two periods means nothing. if your period button is stuck, get it fixed.
before i had to come up with some other subtlely smartass remark, he continued.
him (8:51 a.m.): Ure still not back b4 xmas?
me (8:51 a.m.): Correct.
my quickest response yet. now please don't suggest coming out here, please don't, please don't, please don't...
him (8:52 a.m.): K..was just tellin u that..not that u could do anything abt it..lol
again with the 2 periods! but that was overshadowed by my relief.
10 minutes of celebratory silence. then...
him (9:02 a.m.): Keep killin 'em talk with u soon..
and that was the end of that. for now. so, i'm wondering, is the plan to keep texting me until xmas and then hangout and fall head over heels? and does that work? i guess if i liked him, i'd be totally into it. i guess if i liked him i would have taken the bait and suggested he come out for a visit. but i don't. alas. and the sad part is that his area code is similar to the area code of a guy i actually do want to talk to, so for half a second, i i actually was excited. sigh (insert three periods)
i HAVE blocked text messaging on my phone before and i can do it again, L.A.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
for reals???
i would really, REALLY like to know (for the two people who have responded to the new poll and the others who may respond with a yes) what you say to a friend when you suspect, again SUSPECT, that the person they are IN LOVE WITH is gay. i need to know. how do you even bring that up? comments, s'il vous plait.
also, the pictures of al sharpton grinding at MJ's memorial are di-stur-bing. you have to see it to believe it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/30/al-sharpton-dances-for-mi_n_223623.html
also, the pictures of al sharpton grinding at MJ's memorial are di-stur-bing. you have to see it to believe it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/30/al-sharpton-dances-for-mi_n_223623.html
kissing cousins
i am delighted to know so many noble people who would tell their friend about their questionable significant other or tell the friend's s.o. to back off. not one of you would take the friend up on their offer.
really? not one?
granted, that's out of 14 responses. so either my jerry springer folks decided to keep quiet or this blog only attracts the most wholesome 14 people in the world. either way, it's a privilege to know you. i did not vote in this survey. i'm not sure why. i don't think i know what i would do. i certainly wouldn't take the friend up on their offer. not to say i haven't sort of done it before. but that was a special set of circumstances. my boyfriend of five years broke up with me when i was 20 and invited his law school floozie home for the holidays (they are now married, and i only refer to her as a floozie because that's how i felt at the time. i'm sure she's a lovely wife now). anyway, i was beyond devastated. hello? i'd been with him since i was 15. so when his cousin hit on me and proceeded to stick his tongue in my mouth, i didn't object. i was attention hungry, i guess. heartbroken for sure. and just wanted to keep in all in the family (lame!). i did feel bad, and i think my ex suspected something and totally got mad at ME and called me all sorts of names. i wasn't even the one who initiated it, furthermore i was the one who told the cousin that this could not go on and that he should not come and visit me in LA.
i wouldn't do it now, but i admit that i did it then. at least i got it out of my system when i was young. right? so my future hubby can rest easy. i'm not the cheating kind.
on a separate note, next Tuesday marks my 2 year anniversary at this job. i have NEVER worked anywhere for 2 years, and i certainly didn't think this would place would hold the record. damn. 24 months. and here i thought i'd be here for 6 months. max. funny how that happens. actually, not funny at all. i've been actively doing my Secret stuff and vision board business, trying anything to get the hell out of dodge. so far no dice. the managers have been sending my scripts out, something i am eternally grateful for, and have gotten good feedback, but none of the shows have positions open right now. so i wait.
on a separate separate note, one of my co-workers, who always manages to say something subtlely offensive and yet wants to hang out with me (e.g. co-worker to me: "if someone asked me, i would say you were nice, but i definitely wouldn't say friendly. hey do you want to see a movie this weekend?"). i think she's a well-meaning individual with an uncanny ability to rub folks the wrong way. anyway, she's wearing these sandals with coins on them, and the coins jingle. so every time, she walks up and down the hallway (which is a lot), it sounds like poodles with fucking bells on their collars are prancing around. it's annoying. but these sandals are brand new, and she loves them, so she is going to rock the hell out of them.
finally. a new survey. this is a result of a personal experience. a friend's sister found out her husband of many years was not into chicks. and when she told her friends, who had pretty much suspected it all along, she was pissed that they hadn't said anything before. what does one do in that situation? respond.
i think i'm going to neverland, L.A.
really? not one?
granted, that's out of 14 responses. so either my jerry springer folks decided to keep quiet or this blog only attracts the most wholesome 14 people in the world. either way, it's a privilege to know you. i did not vote in this survey. i'm not sure why. i don't think i know what i would do. i certainly wouldn't take the friend up on their offer. not to say i haven't sort of done it before. but that was a special set of circumstances. my boyfriend of five years broke up with me when i was 20 and invited his law school floozie home for the holidays (they are now married, and i only refer to her as a floozie because that's how i felt at the time. i'm sure she's a lovely wife now). anyway, i was beyond devastated. hello? i'd been with him since i was 15. so when his cousin hit on me and proceeded to stick his tongue in my mouth, i didn't object. i was attention hungry, i guess. heartbroken for sure. and just wanted to keep in all in the family (lame!). i did feel bad, and i think my ex suspected something and totally got mad at ME and called me all sorts of names. i wasn't even the one who initiated it, furthermore i was the one who told the cousin that this could not go on and that he should not come and visit me in LA.
i wouldn't do it now, but i admit that i did it then. at least i got it out of my system when i was young. right? so my future hubby can rest easy. i'm not the cheating kind.
on a separate note, next Tuesday marks my 2 year anniversary at this job. i have NEVER worked anywhere for 2 years, and i certainly didn't think this would place would hold the record. damn. 24 months. and here i thought i'd be here for 6 months. max. funny how that happens. actually, not funny at all. i've been actively doing my Secret stuff and vision board business, trying anything to get the hell out of dodge. so far no dice. the managers have been sending my scripts out, something i am eternally grateful for, and have gotten good feedback, but none of the shows have positions open right now. so i wait.
on a separate separate note, one of my co-workers, who always manages to say something subtlely offensive and yet wants to hang out with me (e.g. co-worker to me: "if someone asked me, i would say you were nice, but i definitely wouldn't say friendly. hey do you want to see a movie this weekend?"). i think she's a well-meaning individual with an uncanny ability to rub folks the wrong way. anyway, she's wearing these sandals with coins on them, and the coins jingle. so every time, she walks up and down the hallway (which is a lot), it sounds like poodles with fucking bells on their collars are prancing around. it's annoying. but these sandals are brand new, and she loves them, so she is going to rock the hell out of them.
finally. a new survey. this is a result of a personal experience. a friend's sister found out her husband of many years was not into chicks. and when she told her friends, who had pretty much suspected it all along, she was pissed that they hadn't said anything before. what does one do in that situation? respond.
i think i'm going to neverland, L.A.
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