so last night, i talked to my mom. i expected her to say good riddance, and i should never talk to him again. like she normally does.
however, she surprised me when she suggested i accept his offer of hanging out on a casual basis and see how it goes. and try not to wear my heart of my sleeve so much (which is hard for me). she pointed out that he has said and done nice things, so he's not a bad guy...blah blah. he's just incapable of giving me a commitment because his life is in shambles (shambles is my word...perhaps disarray is more appropriate).
i wasn't expecting her to say anything like that, and it's something i never would have considered on my own. i'm usually an all or nothing girl. but maybe that's my problem. well...perhaps "problem" is too harsh. maybe that's my hang-up. i WANT the security of a relationship, and i haven't had that in a while. years. and this is generally how things have ended up as i have pursued what i want. so clearly, my wanting so much has gotten me no where. so maybe my approach is wrong. maybe i SHOULD consider a casual, non-intimate "relationship" (and my motto is--if you don't want a serious relationship, don't expect any serious nookie) with boundaries and limited expectations. and, of course, not just with him, but with anyone i like.
it goes against my natural inclination, but i have to do something. because obviously what i've been doing ain't cutting it.
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2 comments:
I am in total agreeance with her..I think casual is the best place to be. Especially when the person tells you they are not looking for anything serious. Can't wait to see how things turn out :)
Mad props to your Mom. She's right on point. He is no condition to be in a serious relationship, doesn't have the basis, stability or interest. Sounds like he really digs you though, and we can never have too many people in our lives who dig us. My two cents.
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