speaking of vaginas

the following is an email conversation that took place today. this serves as an example of how i keep myself sane at work. names have been changed to protect identities and pay hommage to the muppet babies.


From: Gonzo
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 10:41 AM
To: Beaker
Subject: RE: meetings

i just got off the phone with fozzie. i emailed her to say thank you for helping me move, and she emailed me and said, "i saw skeeter [guy i used to work with and messed around with once, who got this look on his face like he just peed himself every time he saw me after that] with his new girl at the party. besides that i didn't really recognize anyone beyond [two other random boys]. the dj was pretty lame. you really saved yourself a trip." and i was like "SKEETER skeeter?" then i couldn't wait for a response so i called her. apparently, he was there with some mousey girl, who fozzie couldn't remember a thing about b/c she was so plain. i was still surprised by the idea that he might have a girlfriend.


>>> Beaker <beaker@work.com> 6/23/2008 10:51 AM >>>
Lol.. Why are you so surprised?


Beaker


From: Gonzo
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 10:48 AM
To: Beaker
Subject: RE: meetings

because he was so freaked out by anything with a vagina when i knew him. was runnin' into walls and shit, and even at the funeral (when i last saw him) he still seemed freaked out. and now he has a mousey girlfriend maybe...


>>> Beaker <beaker@work.com> 6/23/2008 11:02 AM >>>
Hm... Well, we all have to grow out of our fears some how. He seemed to acknowledge the vagina and love it for what it's worth.


Beaker


From: Gonzo
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 11:01 AM
To: Beaker
Subject: RE: meetings

do mice have vaginas?


>>> Beaker <beaker@work.com> 6/23/2008 11:11 AM >>>
Hm... I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that anything female, that's a mammal, has a vagina...


Beaker


From: Gonzo
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 11:10 AM
To: Beaker
Subject: RE: meetings

well, according to wikipedia, the do have vaginas. and i also discovered that "while resting a mouse will sniff between 2-4 times a second, a frequency which increases to levels between 6-15 times a second when the animal is aroused or actively exploring odors." i wonder if she starts sniffing a lot when they're doing it...


>>> Beaker <beaker@work.com> 6/23/2008 11:21 AM >>>
What the hell is she sniffing? Like, she got the sniffles or she just has an overactive olfactory sense?


Beaker


From: Gonzo
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 11:44 AM
To: Beaker
Subject: RE: meetings

mice just sniff when they're aroused...i dunno what they're sniffing. it didn't say. maybe it's like humans who breathe harder and faster when aroused, i guess mice do the sniff thing.


>>> Beaker <beaker@work.com> 6/23/2008 12:02 PM >>>
And why are we talking about aroused mice?


Beaker


From: Gonzo
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 11:57 AM
To: Beaker
Subject: RE: meetings

because fozzie said the girl he was with was mousey. so i was wondering if she sniffed like mice do when aroused...(per wikipedia).


>>> Beaker <beaker@work.com> 6/23/2008 12:10 PM >>>
You're horrible


Beaker


From: Gonzo
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 12:13 PM
To: Beaker
Subject: RE: meetings

no way. it was a purely scientific question. i didn't call her mousey; i was just exploring the idea. i'm sure she's a lovely young woman and much more compatible with him anatomically.


>>> Beaker <beaker@work.com> 6/23/2008 12:22 PM >>>
You still compared the poor woman to an arouse mouse....lol... Oh lord!


Beaker


From: Gonzo
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2008 12:19 PM
To: Beaker
Subject: RE: meetings

ha. no i did not! it's like if you didn't know me and someone tells you i'm from texas, and you ask, "does she have an accent?" you're just asking a question based off the information given...


>>> Beaker <beaker@work.com> 6/23/2008 12:29 PM >>>
Lolol.. You know that shit ain't even logical! You can't compare accents to biological aspects of a mouse and THEIR reference to a former flame..lolol


Like, if fozzie had said "homegirl was as big as a cow" would you google the reproductive patterns of cows and reference them to the chick?!
Lol... I think you would!

But I must say, this is all hilarious to me. I think you should blog about it.

Beaker