something's fishy

so...my lover (and i use that term loosely) is gone again. off in colorado, working to bring home some bacon. before he left, he blessed me with more flowers (pink roses) and a pumpkin, which we named gary. he spent the night before he left, and i when i departed for work, he was still at my house, per the usual. when i returned home that evening, i found my room in...strategic disarray. there was a tower of pillows in the center of my bed (undoubtedly a result of my comment, "it's always a treat for me to come home and see how you decided to make the bed that day..." i.e. "it doesn't look at all how it does when i make it, but i appreciate the effort"). in addition to other things being slightly out of place, gary the pumpkin was "standing" by the bathroom, wearing a dallas cowboys cap, a t-shirt from my middle school p.e. class and a pair of my pajama pants. the whole ridiculous scene made me laugh. i texted him to let him know that his presents were much appreciated. he responded. i decided that that would be the end of my communication while he was away--first of all, he's working and if he wants to talk, he knows how to reach me; secondly, i hate texting, and i wouldn't feel comfortable actually calling (seeing as how this is the precedent that has been set)...but i'll discuss that in a minute.

anyway, so i made this "vow" that i wasn't going to contact him...which i immediately broke when i feared he thought i was a bed wetter. let me just be clear: i am NOT a bed wetter. but on Saturday, i was making up my bed (so that i could lie in it again), and i discovered this yellow circle on my fitted sheet. my first thought was "wtf?" my second thought was, "oh shit. he's going to think i pee in the bed." considering that he made up my bed before he left, he undoubtedly saw this yellow circle, and he certainly concluded that it came from pee and decided i'm a bed wetter and "oh my god!" he's never going to talk to me again. these were the thoughts tumbling around in my mind, while i paced around my room, muttering and smacking my head. i knew right then that i had to straighten this out; i was already so embarrassed and 5 days had passed since he'd made the bed, so i had to take care of this immediately. so i prepared my fingers for a lengthy text. yes, a text. back to that. if i don't quite feel comfortable just calling on a normal day to say "hey", there's no way in hell-town that i am going to call him, while he's probably working, to explain to him that the yellow stain he might have seen in my bed was not at all piss.

here's how the FOUR texts broke down:
1.I know ur busy, but i was just making up my bed and i noticed a yellow circle on the sheet, and i thought "oh no, he will think i

2. pee in the bed." But really it's fish oil!! See i'm supposed to take 2 of those yellow liquid caps at night. And one night i fell asleep with them in my hand...

3. and when i rolled over, one of them exploded in the bed. and i thought it all came out when i washed the sheets but i guess not. Anyway it's from a vitamin not

4. pee. I just needed to say that. I only pee in designated areas.

honest truth. it really is fish oil (rich in omega 3s). i know that might not sound pleasant either (in terms of something you want on your sheets), but it's better than pee in my opinion.

so...i sent the texts, smacked my head some more...and waited. a while later, he responded.

"yeah right...next thing you know you'll be telling me gary is taking you to hawaii and that he's better at pac-man than me. No liquids after 6 for you"

i was relieved. i mean, if he's joking about it, then he's not totally grossed out by me. perhaps he too is relieved, having learned it wasn't pee.

so we texted back and forth a few times, jokingly, and that was that. so...i am glad that the pee thing is over, however...the texting...

i'm not quite sure what triggered my suddenly strong aversion to it. but i know it was before i read this article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/14/AR2007091401972.html
and this one
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/techinnovations/2006-01-29-love-texting_x.htm
because i actually went looking for articles to support my feelings. and they did.
texting/boy-talking is killing romance. and yes, it is primarily men who are proponents of this method of communication. it has replaced the phone call, allowing men to make or break plans without having to be too vulnerable or get too invested. a couple of years ago, i removed text messaging from my phone entirely. i was over it--i found it impersonal and annoying. i ended up putting it back on my phone several months later because people kept sending me messages despite the fact that i told everyone i knew not to. furthermore, i won't deny its convenience--if you're running late or in a loud place or just witnessed a cock-fight, texting can be a simple way to get your message across. even if it's something cutesy like "just thinking of you" or "miss you" or "can't wait to get you naked later". i don't mind that. but as a primary method of exchanging thoughts and ideas with your (semi) significant other...i'm not down. i want to hear your voice. men, we want to hear your voice. and i don't think we expect loooong high-school length conversations where you fall asleep and drool on the phone. just a quick "hi. how was your day? do you want to hang out tomorrow? see you then" would be ma-gi-cal. this is my conclusion based on the unofficial research i've done and my own feelings. it's a pain being caught between the generation who does nothing but TXT (LOL...OMG) and the one who used to write letters. call me a traditionalist, but i'm more in line with the latter. there's something romantic about a phone call (even when it isn't obviously romantic in context). it is where love and romance are nurtured. i am on a mission to try to get me some o' that.

i will c u L8er, L.A.