rehab

i did my part to help end global warming this weekend and went absolutely nowhere. well, i didn't drive anywhere. saturday, i left my house when i ran down the sidewalk barefoot in my pajamas, chasing after the pizza man because i forgot to give him part of his tip, and i didn't want him to think i was a cheap-ass. sunday, i left my house between the cowboys and the colts games for some chin chin and pinkberry, but that was on foot, and all my items were to-go, so my human contact was limited. i'd had enough human contact on friday when, after i work, i met a friend at fatburger (delicious food, yet it always seems to have oddest, grimiest crowd), and then i spent the remainder of the night at the laundrymat. i planned, yes planned, to go on friday night because i thought no one else would be there. i was mistaken. it was like the breakfast club times 20 except without the rich girl or the jock, just all the other delinquents (don't think i'm excluding myself. afterall, i was there on friday night with them). i even saw a homeless man who appeared to casually "shop" through the clothes left in an unattended dryer. i also saw a baby roach. laudrymats gross me out. lord only knows who stuck their clothes in the washer/dryer before you. yeesh. a shirt of mine fell on the floor while i was transporting it from the washing machine to the dryer. i thought about throwing it away. i certainly couldn't put it in the dryer with the clean clothes. i still haven't decided what to do with it. right now it's lying on the back of a chair at my house, awaiting its sentence. i could keep it until i go back to that godforsaken place, but who knows when that will be. i was kinda over that shirt anyway...

while willingly confined to my house i read new moon, the second book in the twilight series. yes, i'm one of thooooose people. watched countless hours of football, the wire, cheaters...and whatever else wasn't going to end with someone caressing someone else's face.

saturday night, i got a text from someone talking shit about the cowboys. i didn't recognize the number, so my inner nancy drew kicked in. i dialed a fake number using the same area code of the text. ohio. deductive reasoning ensued. "the cowboys are playing the browns. who do i know that likes the browns?" i deduced that it had to be this guy who i hadn't talked to since...january maybe. we met at a lounge. went out once. he was a "texter," and one day, i blocked text messages on my phone, so that was the end of that. i figured he thought i just decided to ignore him since i don't think he knew about my texting situation, so i was surprised that he would contact me after all these months and pick up where we left off...talking shit. we sent a few messages back and forth, made a bet which he lost the next day, yadah yadah. amidst all of this, i start to think, "hmmm...maybe i could...he was funny and nice...why didn't i....oh, yeah..." funny, nice, motivated, yes. attractive he was not. not to me. not the second time i saw him. not from the front anyway. his profile was cool, but head on... i don't know. it's weird because at the lounge, he was cute from the front. but at the restaurant, not so much. and by the time we got back to his house, i was over it. claiming that i was freezing, i put my coat over my head and balled up on the couch like a rollie pollie in hopes that he would not try to put his lips on me. i was still pining over the old boy at that point too (home depot boy), so i'm sure that didn't help.

speaking of which...i sort of broke that promise about having nothing to do with him anymore. of course, i did. between wednesday and friday, we exchanged 20+ emails in a conversation which started by me asking if he thought we would ever date again (which was sparked by someone asking me). his response, in typical boy fashion, was "i can't answer that. i'm not clairvoyant. however if you're asking if i think we COULD ever date again, then yea. why not? why? what do you think?" i responded by saying, "i'm not clairvoyant, but yea. why not?" more emails followed (including him asking me what i REALLY thought) and at the end, i was more confused though he'd said nothing negative. so for real now. i'm gettin' clean. no more. i can't deal. i need simple, straightforward love and lust.
my name is manlessdogless, and i have been clean for three days now in L.A.