the neighborhood self-gratifier

i've been remiss. i know. but i've been trying to finish a spec script, and honestly i haven't had much to report. but i will report on my horny ass neighbor. yes, i can still hear her bump and grind herself in the morning. no, it's not every morning. but more often than not. and it's not that i hear her voice, but i hear what she's doing. i hear her old rickety ass bed. well, how do you know she's not doing it with someone, you're wondering. i know because i only hear one set of footsteps afterward, and NO ONE is ever there BUT her. if she was talking to someone or if someone else was there, i could hear him/her. and if she had company, i would see/hear them walk up the stairs, which are right next to me. but that's never the case. and unless he's a wheelchair bound invalid or she's got him tied up in there like that dude in Misery, then she's humping herself blind in the morning. either with a pillow or one of those life-like penises. hello? aren't you raw? chaffed? just plain tired? is all that masturbation really necessary? am i the only person who is freaked out by this?? i mean, i'm all for people doin' what they have to do, but i don't want to hear the shit. it nauseates me. ugh. horny bitch. i'm just going to play music at a level just shy of too loud and dare her to say something.
i need to buy a house.
other than that, life is grand.
i am not interested in listening to anyone do herself or anyone else in L.A.